As the cold, dark winter months settle in, with their heavy, oppressive skies and a natural pull towards the comfort of a cosy sofa by a roaring fire, we might ask ourselves: is it always necessary to keep striving for better, or is there value in simply being?
Perhaps we ought to indulge in comfort, stop striving to be better and learn how to exist contentedly.
Is self-improvement always beneficial?
This time of year naturally invites reflection, as it marks the close of another chapter. Christmas is a season of relaxation and introspection—a time to unwind, write, and focus on areas of my life that may have been overlooked throughout the year.
We often hear the mantra, “work on yourself,” as though self-improvement is the solution to life’s challenges. But can this pursuit turn into an endless treadmill? Surely, there comes a point where our capacity for growth reaches its natural limits, and we must remind ourselves that sometimes, it’s okay to pause and rest.
Is a Growth in Self-Improvement Limitless?
Exploring whether our self-growth is limited or limitless is an important place to start.
I work in education, and something that I want to believe with all my heart is Carol Dweck’s concept of a growth mindset.
In simple terms, having a growth mindset is a belief that our intelligence and abilities are not fixed, and allows us to achieve more. There is a lot of mixed data on this with some studies reporting there is a correlation between having a growth mindset and success, and other studies suggesting there is no evidence of a correlation.
Why is this theory so powerful and attractive to educationalists? If you were to take a group of students and get them to believe that having a growth mindset is the key to success, you could in theory teach them anything and your students would have abundant success.
If you wanted to become Michael Jordan, could you do it just by believing in yourself and your growth and practising enough? Probably not. Can anyone become a successful doctor, lawyer or machine-learning expert just by having a growth mindset and pursuing these paths? I am not sure. Someone could get very good at something by practising it enough, but could they necessarily become an expert?
Respecting our Limits
As a tutor, I’ve come to understand that every student has their limits. Some students demonstrate remarkable aptitude, while others face challenges in processing and retaining information. Our brains are uniquely wired, and while critical thinking skills can be honed and knowledge expanded, there’s a ceiling to what each individual can achieve. These limits, though often overlooked, are very real.
Take Usain Bolt as an example. Running the 100m in 9.58 seconds, he likely reached the peak of human physical capability in his discipline. He maximised his potential. In contrast, if I had devoted myself to training for the 100m, perhaps I could have achieved a time under 11 seconds (I was a 100m runner in school), but that effort would not have propelled me to compete among Olympians. Pursuing such a goal would have been a misallocation of time and energy.
In today’s world, we’re inundated with motivational videos and inspirational quotes that celebrate hard work and perseverance. Yet, this narrative often ignores survivorship bias. For every success story, countless others worked just as hard but lacked the innate talent or the fortunate circumstances to achieve similar results. Hard work and self-belief, while essential, are rarely sufficient on their own—raw ability and sheer luck also play pivotal roles in success.
In theory, self-improvement may seem limitless, driven by concepts like the growth mindset. In reality, however, there are natural boundaries to our abilities and potential. Recognising and respecting these limits allows us to pursue meaningful growth without succumbing to unrealistic expectations or unnecessary effort. We do, however, tend to underestimate our ability to learn. For instance, in my case, I doubted my ability to learn languages until I was an adult, and was able to achieve a reasonable level in Mandarin Chinese.
How can you Identify Areas Where you can Achieve Meaningful Growth?
Self-improvement is such a general notion. It refers to anything where you can make a positive impact in your life.
To focus your energy on areas that deliver meaningful and sustainable growth, it’s helpful to adopt a structured approach.
One effective method is to use a 3-Step Growth Framework:
The Reflection Stage
The first stage is to reflect and build an understanding of your current state.
You can do this by asking three key questions:
- What am I proud of?
- Where am I struggling?
- What patterns hold me back?
The Prioritisation Stage
The next is to decide the areas where you should prioritise your growth.
Answer the following questions to gain insight in this regard:
- How do these areas align with my goals?
- Will improvement in this area yield lasting results, or is it a short-term gain?
- Does the effort justify the reward?
The Action Stage
The final step is take action that result in self-improvement.
Here is a helpful framework for setting these actions:
- What clear and measurable outcomes do I want to achieve?
- How can I subdivide these actions into small and manageable tasks?
- How will I track my progress and optimise actions as a proceed?
I believe that self-improvement is generally a good thing, but most people lack a process by which to evaluate their progress. Lacking a process can result in the journey feeling like a never-ending slog. By developing a process, it is
Should I ever just take a break from Self-Improvement?
We should always reserve time where we take a break from self-improvement.
Energy cannot be created or destroyed – only transferred from one form to another.
We can’t focus all our energy on self-improvement. Life gets in the way, and the mind and body need breaks. Some people need fewer breaks than others, but eventually, we can break down from mental exhaustion, stress, and so on. For this reason, we need to engage in activities that focus on the present and not merely on improvement for the future.
I will stand by the fact that our thinking should generally be directed towards the future – it is the most sustainable, responsible and successful path, but we do not need to direct all our energies this way.
Recognising our limits can also contribute to our growth. I always think of how my violin teacher used to say that 30 minutes of practice every day for a trumps 3.5 hours in one day. Intensity, whilst often important for those who want to achieve huge success in a certain field, is fruitless without long-term commitment.
Conclusion: Self-Improvement can Usually be Approached More Efficiently
It is possible to be too focused on self-improvement and neglect the present.
However, the biggest issue people have with self-improvement is that they do not have a real-process in place to help them reach their personal goals.
If these goals are realistic and set with personal limitations in mind, there is no reason why we should not continue to improve ourselves throughout our lives.
