In this blog, I won’t only just name my goals. I will also provide context and specific actions I will take to set goals and achieve them. I will also provide a framework which anyone can use to form their own goals.
Each of these goals is personal rather than explicitly financial. I do think, however, that financial success can be a realistic byproduct of following the plans I have set out.
What is Goal-Setting?
Goal setting involves identifying specific targets or achievements within a defined timeframe. It also includes establishing effective systems to ensure their successful fulfilment. Of course, there is the well-known SMART acronym, but this refers to the properties of goals rather than the process of setting goals.
The Four Steps of Goal-Setting
4 steps can be carried out by anyone to make this process of goal-setting run smoothly.
Step One: Audit
The initial phase in shaping goals involves conducting an audit, which entails a thorough examination and analysis of various facets of your life, career, or other relevant areas. This process is geared towards gaining a comprehensive understanding of your current situation and identifying specific areas where improvements can be made.
Through this insightful examination, individuals can pinpoint strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats, laying a solid foundation for informed and strategic goal-setting.
Step Two: Define Your Targets
Once you have performed an audit, it is time to define your targets. These targets have to be achievable, and measurable and may also be subject to a time constraint (best put in place in step 4). A target can either be measurable quantitatively or qualitatively. For instance, if my target is to grow my business’ revenue by 15%, it is clear that I will be able to measure this by comparing the revenue of the current year to the next year. In other words, it should be very clear how to achieve it as the data is quantitative.
On the other hand, some goals are no less important but may be harder to measure. For instance, it may be a target for you to improve your confidence. Levels of confidence are less quantitative than revenue statistics but are also important. In these cases, you can use qualitative measures to track your results. For instance, you might record how you feel every week and make a note of interactions you’ve had with people. Some people like to think of goals as SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) targets.
Step Three: Set Systems and Processes in Place
Each of these goals or targets will have certain actions which need to be followed through so that you reach the endpoint. These actions, however, often involve elements of consistency and persistence.
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits
Think about each of your targets and establish what needs to be carried out to reach them. For instance, suppose that you want to improve your sleep quantity and quality as your main goal.
Well, achieving a good night’s sleep involves a multitude of factors.
You might first set a consistent time where you need to be in bed and set a specific time when you wake up. This might involve setting alerts on your phone. You might identify that you have been consuming too much coffee and eating late at night, which naturally affects your ability to get to sleep as caffeine suppresses (adenosine), and eating late can affect your body’s ability to enter REM sleep. You might realise that you do not get to experience sunset and sunrise, and might purchase a sleeping light which can stimulate this effect. Furthermore, you may discover that your body requires more physical activity to improve the non-REM phase of the sleep cycle.
You can see that even a seemingly simple goal can be complex once it is broken down into its parts.
Step Four: Adjust Your Course
Once you have set off towards your target, you may notice along the way that something is not working. Sometimes, there may be obstacles that can appear at any time, and you might find yourself drifting.
I’ll explain by way of two analogies:
The Ship Captain Analogy
Imagine being a ship captain without a set destination. If you let the wind and currents guide you, it could lead to dangerous situations like accidentally crashing or sinking or ending up on unknown islands.
If you’ve ever driven a motorboat or pedalo, you’ll know that steering is much easier when the boat is already in motion. Therefore, it’s best to set off in the general direction of your destination and make constant adjustments along the way to ensure you reach your desired location safely.
The 1 in 60 Rule
This rule explains that a one-degree error in heading for every 60 miles flown leads to straying off course by one mile. For example, if a pilot flying from JFK in New York to Gatwick in London is off by one degree from the start and doesn’t make any corrections, they could end up more than 24 miles off target, potentially over the English Channel!
What can we learn?
The lesson that we can learn from these analogies is that first, it important to set off and then course-correct along the way. Goals are naturally far away from the starting point, and it is natural and prudent to make slight adjustments in order to reach them successfully.
My Goals
Goal #1 Become more emotionally intelligent
Sometimes I feel like I’m not there or present. No matter how much the person speaking to me means to me, or how interesting that person is, I find that I sometimes zone out.
This zoning out can certainly lead to me missing details. I sometimes can’t understand the mood or atmosphere.
Sometimes this honestly feels like a superpower as I can diffuse tension. It has, however, become a bit of a crutch as I feel it can be difficult to connect.
Building Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand the emotions of those around you, and also manage your own emotions.
It is not to become more emotional, although feeling free to express your emotions is also part of this development.
If you like this blog, you might like to read my blog on How to Fight Imposter’s Syndrome
I’ve always wondered if there is more to my difficulties, but regardless, I can still work to improve my shortcomings.
I have been thinking about developing strategies to improve this aspect of my life. There are four main ways that I want to use to develop my abilities:
#1. Concentrate more whilst a person is speaking on me
This might sometimes involve me taking a second to say hold that thought while I refocus myself on the person and give my full attention.
People tend to have a habit of speaking before someone has focused fully on what they have to say.
As someone who has spent a lot of time teaching, I know how important it is to refocus your students’ attention before delivering information or instructions.
I need to apply this principle more in my personal life.
#2. Watch a person’s body language more
Body language tells us so much about what someone is feeling, but it can be easy to let signs pass. Experts generally believe that 73-90% of communication is nonverbal.
I feel that this is something I understand very well once I have my full attention on someone. It is actually something that I have chosen to ignore. I should, however, devote more attention to watching out for nonverbal cues in future interactions.
#3. Reflecting on interactions
Whether an interaction has gone badly or not, I should take time to reflect on it. Sometimes it feels like a waste of time, but if I’m able to even learn one things from any interaction, it’s going to benefit me.
Anyone who takes time after engaging in communication can learn a lot from their interactions. I’m reminded of a date that I had recently in which I became aware that I was talking far too much. I apologised to my date and opened up the conversation to her. Even though I know this date will not go anywhere, that recent experience opened my eyes to how selfish I can be in a conversational space.
Even at work running a high street business, sometimes I realise after I’ve communicated with a customer that I have made an error.
#4. Ask questions and restate
Something that I can definitely do to help me understand people more is to ask questions that are related to what they have said.
Sometimes I get a little worried about appearing stupid by asking obvious questions, but I really shouldn’t.
I can also take time to attempt to restate what I believe they mean. Sometimes this may sound strange, but I think this can help show that I am paying complete attention.
Goal #2 Become Closer to My Authentic Self
I’ve become obsessed with the idea that there is a core character at the centre of my being that needs to be discovered.
I was explaining to my therapist recently about the way I know exactly what the right thing to do is in many situations. If anyone has an issue, I can understand the moral principles needed to make the right decision.
Sometimes, despite this, I find that I can end up choosing a course of action that conflicts with my principles. What this seems to mean, is that there are some matters in which I can truly be authentically me, and others in which I really struggle to hold to my principles.
Whenever I feel that I’m not holding to these principles, I give into despair, guilt and depression. I also feel immensely disappointed in myself and about as far away from happiness as it’s possible to be.
Becoming my authentic self, so there is no conflict between my inner beliefs and my actions, is a goal I really want to reach.
I think that there are two main ways by which I can get closer to achieving this goal:
#1. Setting boundaries
Boundary setting is something that my therapist focused on in particular.
I am sometimes ultra-disciplined and principled. I am seemingly capable of modifying my behaviour and transforming my life.
However, there are certain aspects of my life where I struggle to set clear boundaries and stick to them.
#2. Radical Honesty
This concept is something that I touched upon in my blog post, Having a Healthy Relationship with Money.
Radical honesty is not just about telling the truth, which is also a large part of it. It is also about uncovering, exploring and establishing your truth.
Applying Charlie Munger’s principle of inverting, we can understand more about what radical honesty involves by thinking about what it is not.
The opposite could be called manipulative insincerity.
If someone is being manipulative, they are using someone as a means to an end.
Insincerity is saying something that is not true, and this can come in many forms: not giving specific enough information, praise that is over the top, or criticism intended to hurt others.
Aside from journaling which can give you insight into your own truth, I think that the way I can reach my authentic self most efficiently is by telling the truth all the time until it feels good.
I’ve tried this recently with friends; being more open. It is difficult, but I can see the beginnings of transformation.
Goal #3. Reduce Dependence on Pleasure and Short-term Fulfilment
This goal is inspired partially by the stoics. Stoics such as Epictetus believed that living to experience pleasure and short-term fulfilment makes people lose focus from leading a virtuous life.
When I look back on my life, the decisions that were purely driven by pleasure and short-term fulfilment led me time after time to destruction and chaos.
Although on the surface, anyone looking at me would think I’m just harmless, I have made so many bad decisions.
These mistakes have led to me destroying relationships, betrayal, calling in sick for work, intimacy issues, and so on.
Furthermore, the more we seek these short-term pleasures, the more we fail to appreciate what we have. We can also become envious of others, which can affect how we treat people.
You may like to watch our Podcast Episode on Setting Goals:
There are 3 main actions that I will take to help me achieve this goal:
#1 Meditating when I feel restless
I can tell that my ego and base desires come to the surface once I start to feel bored. Once an environment lacks stimulation in our eyes, we become bored. As meditation sharpens the mind’s focus so we are able to concentrate more on present stimuli, we are able to use meditation as a tool to handle boredom.
Even though the modern world has many aspects that are designed to keep us feeling restless, at least there are many YouTube-guided meditations (like the one below), which can help us in these situations.
We can also embrace boredom by using it as a space for us to be creative. Most people have some area of art or another form of expression which can help them feel at ease. For me, I have always found that writing is the artwork I identify with the most.
Unfortunately, with the rise of AI, I see the amount of content stimulation only increasing exponentially from here.
#2 Avoiding unnatural dopamine stimulants
Dopamine is by no means “bad”. It is a neurotransmitter and hormone, which governs essential functions like memory, movement, and mood.
As a neurotransmitter, it influences behaviour, attention, and pleasure. As a hormone, it triggers the fight-or-flight response and regulates blood vessels, sodium, insulin, and immunity. Without dopamine, we would actually fail to even wake up and take care of ourselves.
Known as the “feel-good” hormone, proper levels yield happiness and motivation. Low dopamine causes fatigue, while excess leads to euphoria. Diseases like ADHD, Parkinson’s, mania, obesity, and schizophrenia involve irregularities in dopamine levels. Medications and natural approaches, like a diet rich in magnesium, address imbalances.
I’ve observed that engaging in low-effort, high-payoff activities often results in profound dips in my overall life satisfaction. For instance, watching pornography and masturbating results in an unnatural high, and for us to seek stimulation beyond what we can expect in real life.
In my own life, I have found that the more I watch pornography and allow the overstimulation of the dopamine receptors, the more I struggle to connect with someone I care about.
Furthermore, as pornography is designed to push its users to consume increasingly more stimulating content, it can result in its users engaging in more casual encounters.
#3 Filling the time with meaningful pursuits
One of the reasons why I started this blog, is to engage in something else that was important to me. I have always wanted to write, and blogging affords anyone the chance to build a community, connect with others, and express one’s thoughts.
Filling my time with meaningful pursuits will ultimately lead me to avoiding harmful behaviours, and will also allow me to make positive changes in the world. If even one person reads this blog and is able to change his/her life for the better, wouldn’t that be the most beautiful thing?
Goal #4 Practising Gratitude
Although I definitely don’t want to stand still and be completely content with everything in my life, it is important to be thankful for my many natural advantages, and for the good things that have happened to me in my life.
In this modern age, there are so many nice shiny things that make us think the grass would be greener if we were to stray. Social media has given us unfettered access to peoples’ most attractive realities. Practising gratitude should really be something that everyone ought to do daily.
We are not able to witness the effort that people have put in to achieve what they have, the struggles, pain, arguments, etc. The fact that we see only the best of peoples’ lives can lead us down the path of envy (wanting what other people have). Meditation, which is something I have touched upon previously, is one important method for reducing these unhealthy feelings.
There is, however, another action which appeals to me specifically:
Keeping a gratitude journal
The basic idea is that we spend a little time each day/week writing down things for which we are thankful. A gratitude journal should be simply set out, and not take a lot of time from your day. I like journals which are also aesthetically pleasing, yet understated.
Here is an example of one:
Beyond
So that rounds of my goals and specific actions for the year. I hope you have enjoyed reading these through, and that you might take something from this article.
Please share your own goal in the comments below, and any feedback for me.
Have a great year!
