Masculinity Under Siege: Male Identity Crisis

Masculinity is under siege, and this isn’t a joke.

Although some articles have surfaced online that make light of male issues, I think will present issues which men face today and address them in detail.

I will also make some suggestions for what we can do to address these issues.

In no way am I presenting this as a battle between the sexes. Making this a case of men vs women will simply destroy both groups.

Women also face a large number of issues that find their roots in this modern age. I hope to address this in a later blog post.

What is masculinity?

“Masculinity”, I define as the expectation of men to possess certain attributes, and behaviours, and take on certain roles.

There are certain biological characteristics which men naturally possess over women. For instance, men on average have 75% more muscle mass and 90% more strength than females. Biological men also cannot give birth, whilst women can.

These biological characteristics can contribute to our view of masculinity, but our views on masculinity can also change over time. This fluidity of the concept suggests that masculinity is also a notion that is constructed socially.

The idea of masculinity has an obscure origin, but even Tacitus writing in 98 AD about the Germanic tribes seems to imply a marked difference between the men and the women:

“It stands on record that armies already wavering and on the point of collapse have been rallied by the women, pleading heroically with their men, thrusting forward their bared bosoms, and making them realise the imminent prospect of enslavement – a fate which the Germans fear more desperately for their women than for themselves.”

Source

Even in this brief extract, the women know that they can appeal to the men visually by “thrusting forward their bared bosoms”. This extract also emphasises how men are likely to risk their lives to protect women as the men “fear more desperately for their women than for themselves”.

This idea of the male protector is a concept which seems inseparable from the notion of masculinity, even now. In fact, in a 2000 paper by Bleske and Buss, the benefits of male-female friendships are implied to be transactions: men gaining access to sex and females gaining access to protection.

What is Toxic Masculinity?

The phrase “toxic masculinity”, came to prominence in the 1980s. It was coined allegedly by the psychologist Shepherd Bliss. The term, however, isn’t singular in its definition. Here, is a list of some of the traits of toxic masculinity:

1. Emotional Suppression
2. Aggression
3. Dominance
4. Avoidance of Perceived Femininity
5. Hypersexuality
6. Dismissal of Personal Boundaries
7. Homophobia
8. Pressure to Conform

While some of these traits and behaviours could probably be described as “toxic”, some of these might be advantageous given the right circumstances.

For instance, aggression may hold negative connotations but may be a useful trait for someone to have as long as it is controlled and well-directed.

I remember when I was a child, I was bullied by another boy. One day, I was punched by the bully, and I struck him back hard. As a result of my own aggression, I became a difficult target, and I escaped bullying. Being able to defend yourself, and the ability to exhibit controlled aggression was extremely useful in my case.

Some voices will say no doubt that violence and aggression are never useful traits – pointing out the “toxic” dimension of the bully’s behaviour. I, however, believe that aggression and domination are everywhere in the animal kingdom. It is, therefore, natural for people to show aggression, and it is through physical play (rough-and-tumble-play), that children learn to regulate that aggression.

Why is Toxic Masculinity an Unhelpful Concept?

Toxic behaviours are certainly evident within the world, but conflating toxicity with masculinity seems to represent an uneasy relationship.

Reason 1: Toxic Masculinity Applied Everywhere

First, toxic masculinity seems to appear everywhere. It is a concept that seems to be used to explain most ills in the world.

My main issue with the phrase is that most incidents of toxic behaviour can be quite easily explained without bringing the phrase toxic masculinity into it.

For instance, imagine that a woman outshines a man in the workplace with higher sales figures. If the man retaliates by undermining her accomplishments or spreading rumours, one might explain this behaviour as jealousy or competition without necessarily invoking the term “toxic masculinity.”

By invoking the term, “toxic masculinity”, there is a lack of personal accountability. The label, “toxic masculinity”, could lead people to think that the way to prevent this event from occurring in the future is to first, blame things on the male-dominated company culture.

The source of the issue, however, is probably within the individual who undermined the female employee in the first place. In terms of solutions, the individual needs to be punished and solve his deep issues through introspection, therapy, meditation, etc. Applying a label of this being an instance of “toxic masculinity” is barely meaningful, and can ultimately distract people from the solution.

While toxic behaviours certainly exist, attributing them solely to masculinity may oversimplify complex human interactions and motivations. It’s crucial to analyse each situation individually, considering various factors such as personal insecurities, competition, or professional pressure, rather than immediately labelling it as a manifestation of toxic masculinity.

Reason 2: Taints the Concept of Masculinity

The phrase, “toxic masculinity”, also is a broad brush. It tars men with the same brush. If you are raising young boys, imagine thinking even unconsciously, that there is something inherently “toxic” within them in their maleness.

All these negative traits that I listed earlier such as homophobia, and hypersexuality, are they really what it means to be masculine?

Of course, these traits could certainly be the result of people growing up in certain environments and living a certain lifestyle, but are they implied by manhood?

I don’t believe that using the descriptor “toxic” in conjunction with masculinity is helpful at all. In fact, it makes the very idea of being a man sound unattractive. Whilst it is true that those who focus on the term, toxic masculinity, certainly focus on a number of important issues, these issues do not need to be conflated with the idea of masculinity itself.

For instance, many men feel afraid to talk about their feelings with other men. In fact, in a survey carried out by Movember, 45% of males aged 18-34 have avoided talking about their feelings to avoid being labelled “less of a man” by others.

Now, this issue can be framed as an instance of “toxic masculinity”, or can be thought of as a more nuanced issue. There are so many reasons why men could have issues connecting with other men, and I believe that simply framing this as “toxic masculinity”, fails to build a complete picture of each individual’s complex inner life.

The Rise of Women

Women have certainly witnessed a rise in their status over time.

Since the Second World War, women have shown themselves to be fully capable of taking on a huge number of roles that could be thought of as traditionally male.

I think perhaps one of the most impressive ways in which women have risen in their personal and professional lives is in the educational sphere.

The rates of college completion in the US surpassed that of men in the 1980s.

Now the number of women graduating with a degree has surpassed that of men:

This trend is likely to continue, and I believe will accelerate over time. The second graph on the right in particular indicates the shift which will continue to occur over time. In a few years, you will certainly expect most women to be more educated than men.

I won’t address the gender pay gap here as it does not fit into the scope of this article, but I also believe that it will continue to close over time.

The Effect on Men

Although I believe that women and the population getting more educated over time is a net benefit to humanity, people have to consider the impact that this will have on men over time. The repercussions that this could have on men and women in the dating market especially, could lead to quite serious and destructive demographic shifts.

Women are traditionally hypergamous – date across and above their hierarchy. Education, income, and social standing are all elements which determine male status. Whilst women have done nothing wrong in their educational rise, there needs to be some shifts in the way that policymakers understand and address the evolving dynamics between men and women in the context of increasing education and empowerment. Acknowledging the positive impact of women’s education and societal progress is crucial, but it’s equally important to consider the potential challenges and shifts in dynamics, particularly in the dating market.

Men, historically considered the primary breadwinners, may find themselves navigating changing expectations in relationships. As women become more independent and successful, traditional gender roles may become less rigid, challenging long-standing societal norms. This shift necessitates an understanding of the changing dynamics and a reevaluation of what constitutes a successful partnership.

Policymakers must recognise the importance of addressing these changing dynamics to ensure that policies reflect the evolving needs and expectations of both men and women. This involves promoting gender equality in all aspects of life, addressing stereotypes that may hinder progress, and fostering a more inclusive and supportive environment for both genders.

Challenging Stereotypes

Education and awareness campaigns can play a vital role in challenging stereotypes and promoting healthy relationships based on mutual respect and understanding. Encouraging open conversations about changing societal expectations can contribute to building bridges between genders and fostering more equitable partnerships.

It’s essential to emphasise that the goal is not to diminish the achievements of women but to create a balanced and inclusive society where both men and women can thrive.

Recognising and addressing potential challenges in the dating market and relationships is crucial. Societies can then work towards fostering healthy connections and providing mutual support. This approach contributes to shared success for all individuals, irrespective of gender.

Red Pill and Black Pill Movements

There have been two noticeable movements to answer and acknowledge the male crisis. These are the Red Pill and Black Pill movements. Here I will briefly break down some of the characteristics of the movements.

The Red Pill movement

1. Critique of Gender Relations: The movement often offers a critical analysis of contemporary gender relations, expressing concerns about shifts in societal norms and the perceived marginalisation of traditional masculinity.
2. Metaphor of Awakening: The term “Red Pill” is derived from the movie “The Matrix,” symbolising an awakening to uncomfortable or hidden truths about gender dynamics and societal structures.
3. Focus on Men’s Issues: Advocacy for men’s rights and addressing perceived imbalances in areas such as family court decisions, workplace dynamics, and societal expectations are central themes within the movement.
4. Self-Improvement Emphasis: Many proponents of the Red Pill movement advocate for self-improvement, encouraging men to focus on personal development, fitness, and mental well-being as a response to perceived challenges in modern society.
5. Diversity of Views: The movement encompasses a wide range of perspectives, from those emphasising positive self-growth to others holding more extreme views. This diversity can lead to varying interpretations and priorities within the movement.
6. Online Community Presence: The movement has a significant online presence, with forums and communities on platforms like Reddit serving as spaces for discussion, debate, and the exchange of ideas.
7. Controversial Elements: The Red Pill movement has faced criticism for elements perceived as promoting misogyny, toxic masculinity, and reinforcing traditional gender roles. This controversy often stems from extreme or divisive views held by some within the movement.
8. Scepticism of Mainstream Narratives: Red Pill adherents often express scepticism toward mainstream narratives on gender and societal issues, believing that these narratives may not accurately represent the challenges faced by men.

It’s important to note that the Red Pill movement is not monolithic, and individuals within the movement may prioritize or interpret these characteristics differently.

The movement’s complexity makes it crucial to approach discussions about it with an understanding of its diverse viewpoints.

The Black Pill Movement

1. Pessimistic Worldview: The Black Pill movement adopts a deeply pessimistic and fatalistic outlook on life, often viewing the world as inherently bleak and devoid of hope.
2. Relationship Pessimism: Black Pill adherents emphasise “looks theory,” asserting that physical appearance is the primary determinant of success in relationships, leading to a pessimistic view of one’s prospects based on perceived attractiveness.
3. Deterministic Thinking: Adherents embrace deterministic thinking, asserting that factors like genetics, physical appearance, and social status heavily dictate an individual’s outcomes in life.
4. Social Alienation: The movement frequently emphasizes feelings of social alienation and isolation, with adherents expressing a belief that societal structures inherently work against certain individuals.
5. Online Community Presence: The Black Pill movement has a significant online presence, with forums and communities providing spaces for individuals to share experiences and discuss perspectives.
6. Critique of Mainstream Narratives: Black Pill adherents critique mainstream narratives around topics like self-improvement, success, and happiness, arguing that these narratives are overly optimistic and fail to acknowledge challenges faced by less socially or physically attractive individuals.
7. Controversy and Criticism: The movement has faced criticism for its fatalistic and deterministic views, with concerns raised about potential negative impacts on mental health and well-being.

It’s crucial to recognise that the Black Pill movement is not universally accepted, and interpretations may vary among individuals. Understanding its nuances and varied perspectives is essential for a comprehensive analysis.

Alternatives

In my view, these movements do not provide answers. They are harmful narratives which are exploited by figures such as Andrew Tate for profit. However, one of the worst things we can do is not acknowledge that men are in crisis.

It also is important to emphasise that not all of the advice that these figures give is incorrect. For instance, Andrew Tate regards male fitness and maximising our earnings as a very important aspect of masculinity. In my view, this is a helpful message – as men should aim to be the best they can be.

As I see it, we have three options:

1. Embrace the “Red Pill” philosophy and end up a cynical, destructive and controlling force
2. Embrace the “Black Pill” philosophy and end up a cynical, passive, and weak force
3. Take on the challenge of redefining ourselves in the face of changes that have both happened and will accelerate

Forging a New Path

Choosing to embrace the new world and acknowledging the reality of the situation allows for a proactive response. This includes recognising the evolving roles of men and women, understanding that traditional gender norms are shifting, and promoting healthy masculinity that values self-improvement, emotional intelligence, and positive relationships.

Encouraging open dialogue and support networks for men to navigate these changes is essential. Men should feel empowered to seek help, share their experiences, and embrace a more inclusive and nuanced understanding of masculinity. By fostering a culture of self-improvement without falling into the traps of destructive ideologies, men can navigate the evolving societal landscape more effectively.

This path is not easy. Our goals need to be realistic and balanced.

There will be casualties along the way, and some who will not be able to survive in this new reality. But taking this path will ultimately lead to people being able to live better lives.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the evolving landscape of masculinity demands thoughtful consideration, as certain online movements like the Red Pill and Black Pill often fall into harmful narratives exploited for profit. While acknowledging the genuine challenges some men face, it’s crucial to discern that not all advice from these movements is inherently wrong, such as the emphasis on self-improvement.

Extreme ideologies like the Red Pill or Black Pill can lead to destructive mindsets, fostering either a controlling force or passive weakness. A more constructive approach involves redefining masculinity to adapt to changing societal norms.

Choosing to acknowledge the new world and embracing evolving gender roles allows for a proactive response. This includes promoting healthy masculinity focused on self-improvement, emotional intelligence, and positive relationships. Open dialogue and support networks are crucial for men navigating these changes, empowering them to seek help and embrace a more inclusive understanding of masculinity. In the face of societal shifts, the emphasis should be on building a culture of resilience without falling into destructive ideologies.

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